#TBT – WWF Tuesday Night Titans ep. 36: 1 year anniversary show

By Joshua Molina for WrestlingObserver.com

– Air date: May 30, 1985
– Runtime: 45:54

With so much bad happening in the world of professional wrestling these days, with legends dying young, or icons getting arrested for alleged manslaughter, or immortals getting banished for a foul and disrespectful mouth, it’s nice to escape the real world of professional wrestling for the television world of the WWF in 1985.

It’s refreshing to see a young Vince McMahon host TNT, at a time when he was rich with energy, ideas and motivation. This McMahon, in all his bright orange jacket glory, is a man who is conquering the world, a man with a vision to grow the company into the biggest thing imaginable, a risk-taker afraid of nothing.

He should be back on WWE television today, as an announcer if nothing else. The WWE just isn’t as good without McMahon, even if Stephanie is brilliant in her own right. This episode spotlights McMahon in all his splendor.

The episode is a highlights episode of the first year, which includes some of the wackiest, zaniest, craziest stuff ever on basic cable television.

We start with some entertainment, and a segment with Ivan Putski dancing on the set of TNT. Even though the segment was supposed to highlight Putski, McMahon stole the segment with his overly dramatic, exaggerated, cartoonish dancing.

This segment was really about McMahon and his blue pants, plaid sports jacket and over-the-top facials. McMahon had some of the best facials in the business. McMahon looked genuinely like he was having a good time.

We go from Putski to SD Jones looking totally lost by trying to pretend like he was playing music as part of a larger Antigua band. Of course, since Jones was from the island of Antigua, he knows how to play island music, wearing tropical shirts and always look relaxed.

Then we go to a somewhat memorable segment of a drunk-looking Andre The Giant, acting like he was a fish swimming in the ocean, as the band played something called “The Whale Song.”

There was something funny about Andre lowering his guard to play a little goofy for the camera.

After a clip of Paul Vachon singing, we go to a segment with Adrian Adonis and Dirty Dick Murdoch. This is the episode where Murdoch was forced to walk the streets of New York so that he could better understand Adonis’ lifestyle. Adonis at this time was portrayed as some big city tough guy from the streets of New York, who rides motorcycles and commands respect everywhere he goes. This gimmick is a far cry for the awful, awful, awful character he’d been playing in a year.

Murdoch, wearing an awesome retro San Diego Padres hat, jumps on the back of Adonis’ bike and they ride off together.

We’re treated to another clip with McMahon, Lord Alfred Hayes and Chief Jay Strongbow. For some reason Strongbow and some other native Americans chose to hold a pow-wow on the street outside the TNT studios, right where they could get harassed by the Texas Cowboy Murdoch.

Murdoch rolls up in a cadillac — while drinking a beer — and McMahon starts yelling “GET THAT OUTTA HERE!” Certainly a culture clash there.

We get to revisit strongman Ken Patera, who had his own brand of boring. For a guy who was in love with himself, he was awfully unhappy.

We’re revisiting the episode when Patera was getting his monster-push and to play into this, he decides to hold back a van, driven by McMahon, with his legs, while pushed against a wall.

This may have been the most unbelievable segment in the history of TNT. I would sooner believe that The Giant actually fell of the ledge of Cobo Hall, than I would that Patera held back a van gunned by McMahon.

Patera was clearly struggling, and we got some odd cuts of the rear tires erupting in smoke because they were running in place. How ridiculous, but props to them for trying to get Patera over.

After about 25 seconds, the segment eventually ends in a cloud of smoke, where Patera starts screaming that he told McMahon to cut it after six or seven seconds. McMahon claims that the gas pedal got stuck.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Patera asked.

From Patera we go to the other half of the muscled-up nimrods to Big John Studd attempting to bench press 700 pounds, an unofficial bench press record. This was back in the day when McMahon made a lot of effort to build a wrestler’s character outside of just being a professional wrestler.

There was no way that Studd was going to be the true giant of wrestling, but he could set a fake bench press record.

We go from a powerlifter to bodybuilders and a posedown between Tony Atlas and Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff. I’m no bodybuilding expert, but Atlas appeared to have a more proportional physique. Orndorff was stacked, but his legs weren’t as big as Atlas’s.

McMahon asked the crowd to select the winner by applause and of course, Atlas, the good guy at the time, won. As Atlas was walking off the stage Orndorff attacked him with a right hand, clearing the stage and the audience, in what turned into a full melee between two guys brawling in bikinis. McMahon showed his angry, outraged face at the fight. In a weird moment, Orndorff looked to legitimately push McMahon out of the way and after McMahon regained himself, he followed Orndorff out the door off the set.

From one embarrassing brawl to another, we go to Paul Vachon’s wedding, when David Schultz was part of a team that disrupted the Vachon wedding, including body-slamming Vachon.

I have spoken about my heel affection for Schultz, but one more time for our new readers. Schultz oozed charisma. He was Stone Cold before Stone Cold was Stone Cold. A true, scary villain, Schultz could have been the sport’s biggest heel — if only at the time he wasn’t a heel in real life, slapping around John Stossel and threatening to fight Mr. T.

Somehow, they regained composure and everyone was happy to go to the wedding reception. Of course, who wouldn’t want to have Schultz, Capt. Lou Albano, and George The Animal Steele at a wedding reception.

The clip cuts right into what turned out to be a massive food fight, with everyone throwing pies at each other. As everyone was pie-facing each other, Schultz smacks a pie in McMahon’s face and says: “I have been wanting to do that for a long time,” in what was clearly an early shoot-moment.

We revisit a Vachon interview where McMahon asks Vachon how the wedding and honeymoon went. Vachon, without saying it specifically, implies that his new wife Ophelia hasn’t consummated the marriage yet. Vachon says they had plans to go to Africa or Canada for the honeymoon, but ended up going to Hoboken, New Jersey.

McMahon deadpans: “If you can’t have Africa and you can’t have Montreal, surely you’d want to go to Hoboken.”

Even if Vachon didn’t make it, TNT still, so to speak, goes to Africa, with an appearance from The Ugandan Giant Kamala. We cut to Kamala’s manager saying “It’s about time for the chicken to do a disappearing act. He’s going to eat him alive. He’s going to eat him alive!”

McMahon says “No, not on this show!” Kamala and his handler Friday attempted to pull a chicken out of the cage, but the chicken, hilariously flew away. Since it was an anniversary show, we didn’t get to find out the fate of the chicken, but rumor has it that he didn’t actually eat a live chicken on TNT. Actually the entire original episode isn’t on the WWE network, so this is the most we have seen of Kamala on TNT.

We get a a few more animal segments: The Iron Sheik and his camel, whom he respects more than Hulk Hogan, and Lord Alfred Hayes being forced to milk a goat in Hillbilly Jim’s barnyard stable.

The weirdest part of all of this was a segment with Cowboy Bob Orton, Hayes and McMahon. This flew by me the first time I watched it, but as McMahon is helping Hayes get on Orton’s horse, McMahon seeming grabs a handful of Hayes’ manhood. You’d kind of have to watch the segment to appreciate the 5 SECONDS of McMahon hands, but here’s a photo that seems to illustrate it. It was probably a rib on Hayes, but this was 1985 and everything was over the top on TNT.

Every other segment up until now was themed-based, but now we go to a wrestler-based segment with Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper’s ring entrances were so epic. When you heard the bagpipes play, you knew the guy who was about to come down the aisle was someone special.

Here the bagpipes play and Piper slowly walks out on the TNT set. Piper was a true icon with a presence only a handful of guys have had in their prime.

This is a segment to remind us how much havoc Piper has wreaked during the first year of TNT. He slapped Hayes, punched Albano, destroyed Sarah the Soothsayer’s cauldron and made a bunch of other racial and homophobic slurs.

Piper’s greatest strength was his work on the microphone. When McMahon tells him that Albano helped raise more than $4 million for multiple sclerosis, Piper asks how much of that money went into Albano’s pocket.

Piper did this while chewing bubble gum, tugging on his ear and speaking frantically.

After Piper said this, Albano, coming off a recent face turn, stormed the set and told Piper to take back what he said. Albano said this was the lowest Piper had ever gone. Looking apologetic for a moment, he let Albano sit down in his chair. But you know where this is headed.

Despite the gracious move, Piper called him “fat” and “disgusting.” Albano told him he was in the WWF a lot longer than Piper, and then proceeded to FLICK PIPER’S NOSE, while shouting at him to “BUZZ OFF, PUNK.”

What did Albano think was going to happen? This is 2015, where popular heels are buried weekly on television. This is when heels are portrayed as strong on television, and they don’t get humiliated until the house shows, when people PAY MONEY TO SEE THAT HAPPEN.

Piper then says, OK, “I’ll leave,” and then gets up to walk out before turning around whacking Albano across the face. Albano took a glorious bump over the chair.

Piper then looked at Albano and said “C’mon big time. C’mon you fat piece of garbage.”

From Piper we go to the food segment. McMahon loved to exploit cultural stereotypes. With Tito Santana we had to eat Mexican food. Putski made us eat Polish Sausages. We had Tea with The British Bulldogs. The Junkyard Dog made us eat ribs. Afa and Sika made us eat fish.

At Hillbilly Jim’s house, we had to eat fatbacks and collard greens and some of granny’s moonshine, although Hayes, portrayed as resident alcoholic on the show, of course insisted on drinking the “white wine” from the glass.

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Hayes makes a toast “To your very best health, Granny.” Hayes spits the liquor out like he’s Triple H in 1999 in Madison Square Garden, selling the white wine beautifully. Hayes starts choking and coughing and nearly passes out.

Hillbilly Jim tries to comfort him with some “buzzard eggs,” but Hayes doesn’t bite.

The show ends with an eclectic segment that includes Hayes wearing Andre The Giant’s massive jacket, Guardian Angel Lisa Sliwa putting a full nelson on Hayes, and Andre covering up Hayes’ face with one hand.

McMahon can’t help himself, saying “that is the best Hayes has ever looked.”

Before we leave we get to see the cake and McMahon shows off a little bit of self-deprecating humor.

“You never can tell what is going to happen here on TNT,” McMahon says. “This is the special anniversary show and maybe the last anniversary show of TNT, who knows.”

Not quite. We’ll get one more, although it’s not on the WWE network yet.

McMahon looks at the cake and says “hopefully this doesn’t land in your lap,” and Hayes laughs and says “or in my face.”

McMahon brings out some members of the crew and they all sing Happy Birthday to themselves, with Hayes blowing out the candle.

“Thank you for staying with us for a whole year!” McMahon says.

The show served as a great reminder of all the TNT hijinks over the year. Unfortunately the show didn’t recap the funniest segment in the history of TNT, McMahon interviewing Heenan for a Hearts & Flowers segment, but that’s OK. Just go watch TNT, episode 11, or read the review on this site. It’s truly one of the most remarkable moments in TNT history, with McMahon busting up legitimately over Bobby Heenan’s wicked comedy.