WWE Vintage Collection Report (09/28/08)

WWE Vintage Collection Report: 28th September 2008
By Shaun Best-Rajah.com Reporter
Hosted by: Mean Gene Okerlund

Hola Amigos. This week, the action emanates from an outside stadium in San Juan, Puerto Rico. The date is October 1985 and Gorilla Monsoon is on double duty, both as the sole commentator and ring announcer. Five matches are on hand and in three of them, titles are at stake. We begin with……….

Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat vs Moondog Spot
Before the bout, Okerlund called Spot a smelly individual. That’s not nice Gene. Both men feel the other out with several lockups. On first observation, the ring is a bit on the small side, as is the arena. Spot applies a side headlock. Each time that Dragon tries to counter with wristlocks, Spot grabs the hair to keep the advantage. Spot hits a shoulder tackle before running into a backbodydrop. Dragon applies a front facelock. Spot takes Dragon to the corner and lands some headbutts to the gut. Spot works over Dragon with a snapmare and reverse chinlock. Dragon tries to break the hold with a bearhug, to no avail. Spot ducks a knife edge chop and sends Dragon down with a shot to the chest. Spot continues the offense, until Dragon lands a headscissors kick from out of the corner. Dragon continues with some karate shots, a snapmare and kneedrop. Dragon uses an enziguiri kick to finish Spot off. 1-2-3. Here is Your Winner: RICKY “THE DRAGON” STEAMBOAT. An okay, short opener.

Women’s Title
Wendi Richter w/Cyndi Lauper vs The Mysterious Spider w/Fabulous Moolah
The masked Spider starts with some throws, after grabbing Richter’s hair. Richter comes back with a slingshot, which Spider botches terribly. Spider gets some wrestling advice off of Moolah. Richter briefly works over Spider’s arm on the mat. Spider traps Richter in a headscissors, but Richter rolls out. Richter trips Spider then hits a slam and a splash. Spider gets a small package, but Richter is too close to the ropes. Richter drives Spider face first into the mat twice. Richter cinches in a bow and arrow submission. Spider bites the finger of Richter to gain the advantage. Spider gets nearfalls following a backelbow and bad looking slam. Lauper leads a ‘Wendi’ chant from the outside, as Spider steps on Richter’s hand. Spider chokes Richter along the top rope and Moolah lends a hand in full view of the referee. Lauper comes around to hit Moolah with a gimmicked bag and inflatable fist. Moolah comically gives chase to Lauper around the ringside field. This is the pits. Moolah and Spider then continue to work over Richter. Lauper comes back around to hit Moolah in the back again with her gimmicks, as the crowd chant ‘Whack’. Oh dear. Lauper (in trainers) then runs from Moolah (in heels) again. Richter makes her comeback with kicks, two poor dropkicks and a suplex for a nearfall. Richter places Spider on the second rope and throws her to the mat. Richter gets the winning pinfall following a cross body from the second rope. Here is Your Winner: WENDI RICHTER. Sloppy wrestling along with unnecessary wrestlecrap on the outside. Post match sees Lauper give Moolah another whack with the bag. Just one month after this, Richter received the Montreal ’97 treatment when after a contract dispute, she was screwed out of her title, for real, during a match with Moolah at MSG. Richter hasn’t been seen in WWF/E since.

WWF Title
Hulk Hogan vs Big John Studd
The ‘Fabulous’ Hogan, as he was dubbed at this point, was dressed all in white. Studd had a $15,000 reward out on anyone who could slam him. Not long after this bout, Andre The Giant ended up collecting that purse. Both men exchange shoves then thwart slam attempts. Studd takes control with clubs. Studd uses knees to the gut to keep the advantage on a test of strength. Hogan wises up by dodging a third knee, before standing on Studd’s hands. After a brief exchange, Studd traps Hogan in a bearhug. Hogan tries a reversal, but Studd rakes the face and re-applies the hold. At this point, rain starts to pour and the match goes out the window. Hogan sends Studd into the corner, misses a charge and slips. Studd applies a third bearhug as the downpour gets heavier. Fans now have their umbrellas up. Hogan escapes to give Studd an atomic drop. However, Studd slips on his way down. Both men fight on the outside. Hogan shoves Studd into the ringpost then nips inside to beat the count. Studd having had enough goes to the back. Here is Your Winner via Countout: HULK HOGAN. This was a very boring matchup, which was thankfully cut short due to the weather.

Corporal Kirchner vs Tiger Chung Lee
In a pre-match screenshot, Kirchner (playing a militant gimmick) looked a lot like The Brian Kendrick does now. On the other hand, the Korean Chung looked and carried himself a lot like Haku did in later years. Kirchner is the man who WWE.com mistakenly thought had died last year. Needless to say, Kirchner got quite the shock when he found out about this and he set the record straight. Thankfully, this bout took place before the rain. Kirchner clean breaks from a lockup, but Chung lands a shot to the throat. Chung uses the hair to maintain a side headlock. Kirchner works over the arm with a couple of wristlocks and a legdrop. Chung clean breaks Kirchner in the corner once, then a second time unleashes some kicks and hand shots to the throat. Chung delivers knees to the face, a snapmare and reverse chinlock. Kirchner elbows free and hits a shoulder tackle. Chung catches Kirchner with a knee to the gut and hits a double axehandle from the second rope. Chung traps Kirchner in a front facelock. Chung pushes Kirchner into the corner and works over him with karate hand shots. Chung snapmares Kirchner, then goes back to the front facelock. Kirchner counters with a slam, but misses an elbow drop. Chung works Kirchner over some more, until Kirchner comes back with a sunset flip for a nearfall. Chung goes back on the offensive with punches. Kirchner comes back and floors Chung with a big boot. Kirchner hits a kneedrop and elbow drop. Both men crash into one another coming off the ropes. Kirchner ducks a karate chop, nails a clothesline and covers Chung for the 1-2-3. Here is Your Winner: CORPORAL KIRCHNER. The action was uneventful and the offense was quite bland from both. This show has been going south from the get-go.

Intercontinental Title
Tito Santana vs Macho Man Randy Savage
Just when I thought this match could save the show, rain intervenes. At this point of the night, torrential rain was now in full swing and most of the fans had gone home. Only a few ringsiders remained. Elizabeth is also conspicuous by her absence from Savage’s corner. It’s sad that two great wrestlers still had to go out and perform in such farcical conditions. Monsoon notes that it’s to the wrestlers’ advantage to wrestle barefoot in the rain, before warning about the increased chances of injury. Why the event wasn’t postponed baffles me. With performers quite rightly being hesitant to do anything in the ring, match quality will go right down, as the Hogan/Studd matchup proved earlier. Savage jawjacks with someone on the outside, when they throw a plastic cup into the ring. Santana surprises Savage with punches and a front facelock. After a Savage timeout, Santana briefly works an armbar. Savage (who clearly doesn’t want to be out here) stalls for an age, as he keeps ducking outside and switching a foreign object from his trunks to his kneepad. Savage stays one step ahead of Santana and the referee each time they try to check him. Fans start to pelt the ring with garbage during this long period of no action. When the action restarts, Santana gets out of a side headlock and drives Savage’s head into the corner. Savage pulls out his hidden object and jams it into Santana’s chest. Savage chokes Santana along the second rope. Santana reverses a head ram in the corner and unloads with punches. Savage retaliates with an elbow. Savage goes for a slam, but Santana catches him in a small package for the 1-2-3. Here is Your Winner: TITO SANTANA. Well that was a waste of ten minutes. Neither man should have been out there and just as I thought, no-one attempted any wrestling, for fear of getting injured.

Okerlund wraps things up to end the show. What a shitty show. This was depressing to watch and review. There was nothing Vintage about this. At a stretch, the only positives were seeing Ricky Steamboat and Savage’s dastardly heel tactics with the foreign object. When WWE has hundreds and hundreds of hours of nostalgia to show, it really baffles me when they serve up crap like this. See you next week, where hopefully some more care has gone into picking the matches. Shaun.

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